Birch's Relationship's...or Lack Thereof

So this morning, after an eventful weekend of activities and men, a friend pops up on Facebook Private Messages. 

Birch had sent her a text last night telling her - apologizing for leaving on Friday night (we were out and at a concert/dance) and stating that he's just not in the position for a serious relationship right now so can we just be friends....

I responded, "that's actually quite funny."

My friend responded, "I know.  I didn't realize I was sitting at home pining for him, but okay!"  She went on to say that she didn't know quite how to respond, afterall - he's the one who keeps texting her.  She hadn't been texting him, begging for dates or to see him again.  It is one of those things that make you go "hmmmmmm!"  

I asked, "did I miss something??" As far as I could tell he was just a KID (and by that I really do mean KID) to dance with.  I never ever saw him in her radar...


My friend said she wanted to ask him if he could contimplate "getting over himself," however since it was through texting - she didn't want it to sound bitter as though she was "hurt" over this relationship she apparently had (though no one bothered to tell her) with Birch.


And that, he kept apologizing for being, for acting like a "dick."

My friend responded to my question, stating "you didn't miss a thing! I think he's fabricting my deeper feelings and felt guilty. or something!"

I replied, "Oh dear, this is funny."
 
My girlfriend and I have had conversations over texting, and this particular incident definitely confirms my view of texting.  Texting has come into our  lives and taken over in a way that the regular phone didn't.  Texting isn't easy and it isn't the best way to communicate. 
 
I told my friend, while discussing Birch's Relationship...or lack thereof, that this makes me committed to only texting THOSE people in which I 1) have a relationship with, 2) actually talk to and communicate with in other forms than texting.
 
Texting is NOT where a relationship develops.  Though this is aside from the story.
 
Back to Birch...
 
She responds "I know, right?  I just have to laugh at his little fantasy.  If he comes to the library again, he'll probably slink to the sci fiction and avoid me.  I think I made him feel stupid."

"So did you respond?", I ask.

She said, "I just said something like I really had no intentions about "us" so don't worry about it,"
and he didn't resond after that.


She continued to tell me "I just wasn't going to go into it over texting. Anything I said was going to sound 'bitter and rejected' to him since he already seems to think I thought more was going on than was. Or something. I don't even know. As Stacy said I was actually thinking about "other hotties."

My response,"oh.... that is funny! Good laugh for my Monday morning! No, he probably does feel stupid. However, he did it to himeself. He can slink off to the sci fiction section since he apparently doesn't have non-fiction relationships."
 
I went on to say that this is a good reminder that women aren't the only ones that think there is more to a relationship than there is (missed signals) or flub them up.  I also said that I was relieved to know I didn't miss something....
 
Her response "Hell, I thought I missed something with Birch! I really have no idea why he thought there was more going on there. Sure we made out once, but then he's the one who kept texting me, then pulling away, then texting again and I just stopped responding. Then I get this business Sunday night while minding my own business. I literally was like 'HUH??? "
 
After a bit of conversing on texting and people who text and crap that goes on,  I tell her,
 
"Well, get over Birch, because he isn't able to do a serious relationship at this time,"
 
and of course her response is,
 
"how will I get over Birch??? he may be harder to get over than Chuck!  UGH, get over yourself, buddy."
 
Which I don't know if she'll be able to get over Birch.  It hurts so much when a relationship ends.  But she just responds with,
 
"I know.  I will just have to suck it up, no matter how much it hurts."  and "I may need martinis, to numb the pain."
 
I was just about to suggest a shoulder to cry on, to tell me how they had "connected" and laughed, and of course, lots of drinks and maybe ... just maybe... a rebound guy.  I suggested a former rebound guy, when she said,
 
"I just culled my numbers of people that had irritated me... I had to ask Birch 'who is this?' "
 
She didn't even know who was texting her!  She doesn't have the time and patience to keep in contact with people that are rude and irritating.
 
She said to me "I felt like telling Birch: 'Okay, I'm ten years older than you? and just so you know... I don't play these games. So please don't worry about me and my fragile state of mind over my relationship with you. Sheesh!"
 
I responded, "should he throw you another 'bone,' I would say that very thing to him.  Because it's honest, it doesn't sound bitter or hurt."
 
Her response later was... "I love what you said earlier...."should he try to throw you another bone..." lol! that's exactly what it seems like. HE'S throwing me a bone while feeling so guilty for breaking my heart. Priceless"


Every time I tried to respond to her, I just laughed.  I said, "I wouldn't respond to him because I don't think he'll get it.  And I can't stop laughing at this."

I also said, "I don't know if it's ego or if he is just daft....If he thought he was being nice, to you."

My friend said, "he kept saying he felt like a dick."

I asked, "he said that in his text."

Yep, he did.


My friend said, "I'm like...um...did you think you behaved like a dick? because that's all on you buddy.  I haven't been
saying or doing anything that was accusatory."

She also said that she felt like telling him "you know if you really feel like you need to apologize for whatever actions are making you feel guilty, then a phone call would probably work better."  I'm not getting into this over texting.

Blink again

I no longer need to blink, my friend, my married fella is not wanting to run off with me any more.  And I am a happy girl because of it.
We are now friends and he is my Number 1 Fan.


He told me today:


Here's an idea for handling the "jitters" - Just think as much of yourself as your #1 fan thinks 


of you. You really don't know how special you are. You project an aura of confidence and self 


worth that others women would die for. You are a natural leader. Set the pace and let others 


catch up to you.

The Dance

Last night I went to the Fireman's Ball with a date.  Someone I really didn't know well, someone a friend suggested because he could dance (and he can), someone who ...is rather fascinating, and I found that out.



My Hot Crush was there, with his date.  The girl of a few weeks ago.  I didn't say hello, I didn't even acknowledge him - though I know he was looking at me, at us...as my date said "hello" to him from across the way, and I turned to see who it was, ever so briefly.


The Dance ... has proven to shed a lot of light on a new path.  Shed a lot of light on MY life.  My path.


OH....and what do I share, right now?  I am in a holding state of what to share..... Do I share on the Hot Crush...what I saw, what I think?  Do I share on my Date?  Do I share on my path?  Which post first??


My date... My date deserves attention.  Consideration.  He was polite, funny, interesting, nice, intelligent, interesting (did I say that already).  My date actually acted like a person ought to, on a date.  A dance date.

Regardless of where - if any where is even on the table - this could go, I have a new friend.  I have someone that I rather like and is very positive and worthy of time.  Someone I didn't know as I know now.