Flip Side Baggage

On the flip side, it would appear that some men do enjoy the baggage that women carry - I certainly don't mean in weight, though there is those that do enjoy that. 

What I mean is that some men are attracted to women that have ... bring with them... a lot of drama.  Women with drama in their lives are the equivalant to the "bad boy."

Men find such women interesting, entertaining, until, well, they don't.  Until the headache of it all becomes too much.  Or a headache.


And as a friend put it, men who are attracted to such women, don't have to put much into the relatioship.  The men, themselves, can either be boring, just not into a "real" relationship - one that requires work and dedication, growth; lack interest and thus it doesn't matter because some woman is creating too much drama to notice. 

I recently noticed that  certain men may get involved with women who have children so that when the women want more out of the relationship, the men can then use "that' against them.  They can't get married, can't commit, because they don't want children.  It's okay to be involved until the woman wants a commitment and then they must use something for the escape route.

Whether it be children, or "you have too much drama," or "too much baggage," when the truth of the matter is, HE just doesn't want a relationship.  It has nothing to do with the actual woman and "her baggage."

Case in point - I have a friend who met a cute fella this past summer.  She wasn't all that into him, he was from out of town.  They dated for the week or two that he was in town and had a "fling."  They saw each other for a couple months, whenever he was "in town," or passing through town.  She "ended" it so, to speak a few months ago when really that isn't what she wants.  She doesn't want a "fling."

When she ended it, he said, "yes, he wasn't home enough to have a real relationship" yet he wished she lived closer so he could have a 'bed buddy.'

She told me, if they lived close enough to where he could have a regular 'bed buddy,' it still wouldn't work out because she wants a real relationship.  

I commented that he doesn't want the relationship part; I'm sure there is someone that lives close enough to him for a relationship.  Even if you aren't home a lot, you can still have a relationship.  The only thing missing between a "regular bed buddy" and a relationship is wanting the relationship.