Damn it. I hate it. I do. Dating was hard enough in the "old" days, now with the "ease" of texting it makes each of us a little "less" than a real person.
You may have my number, if I find you attractive, think you are maybe trustworthy and you ask for it. However, I am not giving you any approval or "go ahead" to text me. Texting is reserved for my family, my friends, and should we become something MORE than what we are right now, then you'll get the approval. Though truly, that is NOT going to happen until probably you meet my family. At least.
Don't think texting me every so often "hey... how's it going?" is going to work. Nope. You want to get to know me, you call me up and you ask me out. You want to see how I'm doing after a date, you call me up and ask me. You wonder what I do when I'm not with you, you call me up and ask me out. You get to know me, the old fashioned way. The way you do it with your buddies. The way you do it with your children, should you have any. Or your parents, or your siblings. You do not text me, per chance I'll respond. That isn't cool. That's lame.
Furthermore, don't even consider sending me a "sexually suggesting" text or picture of a bed with "you and me" in the text - especially if we are not dating. It isn't that I'm a prude, it is that I have class. And that is .... wrong on a level that makes me speechless. If you are that tactless, please do us both a favor, get the hell out of my life. And DO NOT come back. I don't care if you have nice parents, I don't care if you have nice friends, they apparently do not know you.
Same friend that I've discussed texting and dating with, again, shared tonight of some fella she met recently. They exchanged numbers. This week, he texted her. Randomly. Asked her how she was. She said, "I felt rude not answering." She also said, "why did he text? I answered and he texted a little more and then that was it."
I responded to her. I said: 1) as easy as it is to text - I can text 10 people at the same time - no offense, he is probably texting 10 girls at the same time to see who will respond. It's comparable to "in the old days," when a fella would be dating you every 10 days or so - and the reason for that was, he was dating other women. Seeing who caught his fancy the most. NOW, with texting, and because "we" (as people, not just girls, not just single people - ALL people) allow it, men don't have to take us out, necessarily. They can just text us and see who responds and who responds with the most "provocative" comeback to catch their fancy. 2) Again, and I mean no offense, he probably ... doesn't really remember who you are. And by texting, he doesn't exactly have to. I can't really explain that - other than unless something changes that makes him WANT to know you better, by texting and having people (girls) respond, he can keep you on the hook without having a lot invested. I truly believe that if he said, "lets meet at ..... at 6," he wouldn't necessarily know IF you were there. He may see you and think "she looks familiar" and maybe approach you - hell he might even text you and say "are you here? it's crowded" and because we are "nice and polite," we would respond, "ya, I'm over here...by the window in the red sweater." Because texting can be so impersonal. And because people are willing to communicate that way. 3) Texting really is the easiest of easy. Get shot down via texting - hell you don't even have to acknowledge that you got the text when YOU did - and NO one has to know about it. 4) I realized then and there, that with my next relationship, texting will NOT be on the table. Yep, there is that "thrill" and feelings of "connection" when your day sucks and you want to "connect" with someone and "ding dong," a text comes in.
TEXTING has gotten out of control.
And so, yes, you may have my number. It is my cell phone number. You may not text me, as I like a fella's voice and it makes the person on the other end "more human." You can text me, only after, you are paying for my cell service.
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