Sunday, June 3, 2012

Side Dish

A couple of my friends went to the neighboring town this weekend, as a favorite (very favorite) band was playing.

George, a fella my friend dated ever so briefly, showed up.  She had seen him about a month ago, she was friendly and he was rude. This weekend, she wasn't friendly (why should she be, he was an ass the last time she saw him) and he, he was "peacock-ing" around.  Kept making an appearance near their table, had a friend keep tabs on her.  Stood so close to her chair that he might as well have stood on it. 


I responded that George - or now known as Peacock - has a huge ego.  And that he, like many other young men, hadn't realized that they really are the "side dish."


A man mentioned to my friend and  I last weekend, that it really is ALL about the woman.  Make her happy and she will come back.  And he won't have to do ALL that much work.  


I get, it isn't all about "us" women.  There are times that we have to talk about whatever it is that the man wants to talk about.  And we, as women, are okay with that.  A successful Main Dish has learned to talk the talk of a man.  And make their stories more interesting.  And we are usually okay with that.  However, do not treat us like we are the Side Dish.  We are not. 


Certainly, we women, are interested in what you do, what you like to do and we want to know some of that up front.  That said, we don't care to discuss you and your stuff, all night.  Especially NOT the first few nights that we are with you.  You will get your moments, or moment here and there as the case may be, though you need to know that it is about us.


We need you to acknowledge that we are attractive.  Now whether that be, we are pretty, we are smart, we are funny, we are successful in what we do, we like our children, we make great coffee - we need to know that you find that in us, and that you want to know more about how we tick to accomplish "said 'attractiveness.'"  And yes, it is YOUR job, as the man, as the side dish to figure that out.  It's also your job as the side dish, to let us know what you can do for us.  What is in "this relationship" for us, NOT....SO NOT, what is in this relationship for you.  You start focusing on what's in this for you and only you, and you will find yourself on the table, alone.  


Trust me, you make the woman the main dish   - - you make her feel like a million bucks, let her dish shine and be pretty, and you can have the world.  You will be well fed, you will look good, you will appear to be the best looking side dish around.  Everyone will want to be around you. As long as you remember... a Good Woman is the Main Dish.  You, my friend, are simply the Side Dish.

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