A month ago, I had 3 fellas that I was kind of crushing on.
3 fellas that were maybe possibilities.
As life would have it, 1 fell away in the sense that my main weekly connection to him, ended. I haven't seen him in person since.
Another fella, I've gotten rather close to. I'm impressed by him in that he shows compassion for me in my situations, where I have really experienced that with - well I didn't experience that necessarily in my marriage. We've talked about a lot of things, have laughed a lot... And tomorrow I will see him. For the first time in over 20 years. And for the first time as a date. ACK! I'm nervous, I'm excited and I'm mixed.
Because then the 3rd fella - who I slipped a note to, and then never heard...I heard early last week, and it was confirmed for me on Friday night, that he had a girlfriend. One friend said, "If he didn't bite over the beer, then he probably already had the girlfriend." Another friend said, " yes, he probably thought ' Damn I would have a girlfriend right now. F---."
Except that he had come and worked out one day at the same time, and then a week later, he hung around the gym after the work out and didn't leave until just a little after I left (yes, I saw this and I noticed) -
I had wondered about him, though I hadn't really worried about it. It didn't bother me until it was confirmed that he had a girlfriend. Until I saw him, dressed in black, looking very handsome.
Even though I really enjoy the fella that I talk to, regularly. I do. He's smart, he's funny. My only real "but," is that he is just out of a marriage. I acknowledge many things about it - in that in a sense, it wasn't a marriage for a long time. Still....and of course... tomorrow, I'll see him. And I'm nervous. Nervous for all sorts of things. A lot of anticipation.
Ah....then again, I have remainder "crush feelings" for Pinedale....a Jello Pudding box I never got to open.
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