Digger Dave

Dave has sort of dug himself a hole without really meaning to. Though what does it say about me? He is probably a perfectly good person, but I really don't want him already. I'm trying NOT to write him off, even though he wanted to know the day of April I was born - since I'm an Aries. He wants to know what the "numbers and letters" in my "pen name" mean - they simply refer to the 2 people I love THE MOST...and then why my range of men was 417 miles. Well, if you look at it all, the answers are RIGHT there. And yes, I would look at them. Yet, in reality.... none of it matters. Or maybe it does, either way....think about it, Dave. He also noted to me, that I hadn't signed my most recent email with "Toodles." Nope, I didn't. I was merely answering the question, moving on.

I am getting a little more level headed.

The LOW Down

The low down...kind of like oral sex, what they don't tell you....

Not only from my date this weekend, but also from other men whom I've had recent conversations from, the low down on online dating is that it is difficult. No way around it. And one might think to have ALL these people in front of you, WOW...like picking the perfect peach.

Nope. You wink, you send emails - they don't respond. They don't even act like you've been there. You don't know. And then you go to check them out again, and they aren't there. Their profile is gone. For whatever reason, they no longer are online. Maybe they got married, most likely they didn't. They just stopped paying for the service.

Or you meet them, and they are NOTHING like they said they were. Which, I have to say, I have experienced that.... more times than not.

Tonight I was YM with a guy I met on a site; he lives rather close to me. I think he is okay, I'm not at the RED Flag point, even though he asked me if I would FACEBOOK Friend him so that he could have more friends on Farmville.

No.... for many reasons. One being, that we haven't met. Two being, really? Thats NOT why I have friends on Facebook. He wasn't mad that I said no, nor did he want me to be mad. I wasn't. Just sort of re-thinking this maybe maturity level?

Its not that I have a problem with people playing Farmville or any other game online. I don't. But you don't become friends on Facebook just for more points.

I did talk to Joe, from online today. He bit the dust; I don't know that he knows it. It isn't that I don't understand where he is coming from (at 50) of how if you get into a relationship with someone who doesn't have children, you don't have that to contend with. I get that. But he was surprised at how many of us women would accept children, whereas men might not. Again, though, he's never been married and there is a reason. I even told him that; I told him that had he really wanted to get married by now, he would have. He was either too busy building his business or something... personally I think he was too busy on himself (thinking he was Joe Great) to make the necessary gives and takes for a relationship.

I am having dinner with ... Dave? on Thursday. I am actually only having dinner with him: 1) because my friend (who met her husband online) told me that I should consider people I am initially NOT at all interested in - which I don't disagree with, and 2) he's persistent, and 3) my other friend advised me to let a man buy me dinner. I can't say that I am uninterested in him, though he certainly isn't in my top 5.

The main thing in all this, to maintain my level head (which my Powell friend would tell you, I don't have one)

And the old men in my life, in which there are two - two men that I have not been physical/sexual with and NEVER plan on being either with - though I know they like me in some degree.... they probably both sense something is up with me (since I was gone for the weekend - and had a great time), but its none of their business. I have led neither of them on, I have been upfront with them, and finally, I am not going to settle because of THEIR feelings.

You just never can tell.....

Actually, no... I have to take a moment to say this....because I have to remind myself daily. You just never can tell. You just never know what the future holds, what will change, what will be.

While I don't like to compare a lot of things to my marriage with Bill, I can compare things to my dating Bill. I met him, he took my name and number and then I went on with life. I didn't know if I would ever see him again and I wasn't going to let it matter. I wasn't going to care. And about 2 weeks later, he called me. I couldn't remember even what he looked like.

And so I have to continue to treat this dating, online, the very same way. Actually I have to continue to treat all dating the same way. Enjoy but don't marry already.

Male Irritation

I had a great date over the weekend, time will tell.

I need to write more, but I don't have time at the moment.

Across Seas

Oh, I did forget.... I met 2 guys on the "buying site" (the site that you have to pay for).
One, Mark, works in the CBM industry and apparently has had to go to Australia, IMMEDIATELY. He loves me, I've made his whole damn world. Ya... get lost in Australia.

The other... Danny. I like him; could really like him, though I get the sense that he is lonely. And that, yes, scares me, a bit. Though I do really like him.

And then there is some guy just checking things out, that I haven't given much time to. He's not in the states AT ALL. Who knows....

Across the seas, its all an adventure.

ADVENTURE!!

Remember, self, this is an adventure! You have no idea where the road is going to take you, you might not even like the road once you get on there and have to turn back! or at least part of the way home!

Oh what has happened... I don't want to tell you. I'm ashamed - yes. I'm HOW old and I act like I'm 12. Why would any MAN want me, when I act so... silly. Stupid. Yet not.

Okay, so why go after some guy that only wants a woman within 100 miles from him? Some guy who really hasn't asked you much about yourself. Some guy who clearly needs a woman to be creative, because his creativeness doesn't venture past Riverton and gambling (at this point, I'd venture to say it might...but who really knows).

I've had great emails from BCody and K-ND. Nice, real, get to know you emails. Both men, I might add, are looking past their noses. Now, I have someone in Rapid City, who has a darling picture with a girl - it looks like he's having a real conversation with an 8 year old. It is so sweet it melts my heart. He doesn't think I look my age (most people don't). So, there's a chance opening. I have some Short "Still Here" guy who I haven't seen and at the moment, am uninterested. Perhaps because he is 5' 7". Ya, I'm looking for taller. And then PacificWaterman. Who at the moment, we are looking at a time to meet in Big Timber at the KOA - play some putt putt...maybe throw the nerf football! And if things SPARK, I won't have to go dutch with him. NO pressure there. :)

In the meantime, I told Crotchedy JA that I was looking for a man - not really a specific man - though specific in that someone of interest....someone to kiss. I guess you could say I broke up with CJA without realizing it; I say this because he is now on one of my "free 'dating' sites". I'm not over joyed about it, though he is out of my age range.

Yes, remember this is an adventure. Its to be fun. Not OMG. Except that I did email Pinedale and basically said, "I'll be in your town, how do I get a hold of you? and its your choice as to whether or not you meet me." ODG! I want to say "what was I thinking?" Who the hell knows. Well, that's not true. I know what I'm thinking. And yet, do I? Oh, its just an adventure. Let it go where it may.

Its an adventure. And definitely time to go to bed.

Wilson Bit The Dust...HARD

So in the past 4 days, I had IM (buzz) a guy named Wilson. Last night, though, I knew that I really wanted nothing more to do with him. Mainly because we hadn't gotten past "are u for real?" His question to me, over and over again. His other questions, "can I give you my heart, babe?" just made me want to THROW up. What the hell is he talking about? Get REAL.

I deleted him from my contacts last night; alas I got 3 other "dings" from him. Finally this afternoon, I responded. I just said, "I don't think we are meant to be." Of course, I got "why do you think that?"

I know I should have ended last night; not respond at all. I suppose after teling Mexican boy to beat it, that little bit of self doubt crept in. So we discussed it. And now, I have no doubt. END THIS

So, I asked him if he had any siblings, since his parents had died? >> No.
Did he have any relatives that he was close to? >> No
Were his parents only children? >> Apparently yes.
I stopped that line of questioning and went to, do you have any friends that you are close to? >> No.
A secretary, a co-worker that you share a joke with, or coffee with? >> Yes, but they aren't friends. Friends are bad.

HUH? Friends are bad? How does one live without friends?

I told him I would have died by now without friends, and that in the end...after the physical, etc. goes, all we have is friendship - I hope.

So then he asked me if I was ready to make "our dream real."
I asked what "our 'dream'" was. He said, "love."

That all he wanted was LOVE and LOVE. (What is Love?)

That of course, helped solidify that I hated this guy. For 1) there is NO "our" or "us" because he doesn't know me. 2) My dream is not "love." Wilson talked as though Love was this thing to be captured like a butterfly.

So I told him that I didn't think we had the same dream. He told me that we did, its just that I was being PUSHY!

Ha, I've never been called PUSHY!

He told me that I needed to be cool headed; to which I responded, "obviously there isn't a we, since he doesn't know if I can be cool headed or not."

Eventually I got it across that I didn't want the same things, or him and I wanted him to leave me alone.
He responded, "can't we be friends?" (huh, you don't believe in friendships)...
He added, "with an agreement?"

I said "No."

And he responded with, "bye....Go and Die"


Since this turn of events, I've talked to 2 people. A friend who met her husband online and another friend. They both suggested that this guy could easily be in prison. Yippee for me. OMG!

No Hurry!

Ed bit the dust; I'm sorry to say. I realized as I was getting my hair done on Wednesday, that he has never been ANYWHERE. That's one thing when you're 18, but at 49....and never have left within a 100 mile radius of where you grew up, lived? that's not the guy for me. I did like him, though. Its just hard enough trying to be friends with the people you are friends with, without trying to find love. Or a relationship.

I haven't thrown in the towel with Pinedale, though I think I will walk away for a week or so. Its hard to know if his invite a few weeks ago really was kind of what I thought it could be - a booty call, or if he's in. I asked him out last Sunday night, and he came back with he had plans this weekend. I'm not sure he did (he was online when he should have been out), but it really is none of my business. He was kind of whiny, really, the last time I "IM" with him....someone finally wants to go out with him. Oh please! I'm sure there are lots of people that do* He told me that I wouldn't vroom over there to see him - so I emailed him, and told him quite directly that he had the wrong girl. If I can drive clear from Laramie to Birney MT in a VW Bug during a snow storm...he has the wrong girl.

* There are lots of people that want to go out with all of us, and we them. But do we? something just isn't right. For whatever reason.

Another fellow, Wilson, that I've been IM with.... how many times do I have to answer the question ".... are u true? are u for real?" I hate that. I've answered it more than once, he apparently doesn't remember who he is talking to. I get the question, I know the question - but learn to ask it in different ways. Dig a little deeper. Need I say, I removed him from my IM and when I hear from him again (which I'm certain I will), I will tell him to beat it. Either dig deeper or beat it.

Hispanic Boy IM me today; he did the other night, after I hadn't heard from him in 3 weeks. I did tell Hispanic Boy to please leave me alone. I am uninterested. And of course got the response - "okay, your losse"


This is a lesson to me...JUST because men don't contact you does not mean they don't think about you, or they don't remember you. So...No Hurry!

And Mike, who did the phone interview, is not interested and THANK GOODNESS. I was uninterested in him. No, I'm not going to post "Gays are Us" signs in my Yard, though I do believe in Gay Marriages, so its best we don't connect.

So now I enjoy a cuppa hot chocolat, after my cuppa tea and think of taking Stella for a walk. Yes, I do believe we will go.

Online....

I just thought of this - its somewhat of a side note from the rest of my real ONLINE Dating experiences.

I teach online, to Korean Speaking people, English. The other night, my last student was a young man of 17. He had this bowl style haircut. Actually cute as a "bug." And he was very into our lesson (some of the others are too shy, too self-conscious, to truly get into the lesson and SPEAK) and as the class came to a close, he looked very intently at me and said, "you are very pretty." I, of course, said thank you.

They do like pretty people; and tend to like women.

Aside from being in Korea (WAY too far away), I think he is a little young and no doubt, a little short for me. Ah...

Only a Friend

Its pretty much been solidified for me today, as sad as it sounds, that Eddie is not the guy for me. Nice guy - but I got bored out of my mind this morning when he talked about my computer. I don't want to talk about the computer - BORING. Sorry Eddie. Eddie will only be a friend.

As for some guy in Buffalo - he wants a woman that fits into HIS schedule. Move on.

Am I Wearing Panties?

I emailed Pinedale, kind of giving him hell, because he acted a little whiney the other night. Don't act like you're the only person that hasn't been on a date in years.....

In the process of it, though I REMEMBERED this incident which pretty much took me out of the "Match.com" scene until recently.

I met a guy online, 2-3 years ago. He came through Sheridan and had dinner with me. I have recalled more of that night since emailing this story to Pinedale (who has yet to read it - see the other post on "You've Got Mail" Heck, see the other posts all together).

After we had ordered our dinner, he started quizzing me. Did I have any panties on?

HUH?
(Yes)

Let me see them.

HUH????

Some (all right, probably everyone ever hearing THIS story) wondered WHY I didn't get up and leave.

Truly, because I didn't care. I knew I wasn't going to kiss him, hug him, OR.. have sex with him. I could be mildly entertained. Oh, he did wonder how it was that I wasn't as conversationalist with him in person as I was online/on the phone. Well, honestly, because once I saw him and once he started in on my panties, I LOST ALL INTEREST. I was, just there, for the dinner.

So as we ate our dinners, and he continued after me to show him my panties, I dodged questions....Once I was done with my dinner, however, I hiked up my skirt and showed him my panties. (Jackass)

As the skirt fell and I reached for my beer, he "DOUBLE DOGGED DARED ME" to moon him.

Who the hell Double Dog Dares someone? How old is he? 7???

With that, I grabbed my beer, gave him the finger and walked out.

(Later I would hear Toby Keith - I do believe - sing about "double dog daring" someone. Still that is a song. Not a line for a girl, on a date)

You've Got Mail

Well Folks, today, there will be 2 posts, as I tell a story of an experience I went through a few years ago. But for now....

You've Got Mail. Something in yesterday made me think of that movie (something? hmmmm... I wonder what it could have been).

In the movie, didn't they get sad, maybe even a little depressed, when they sat down at their computer and there was NOTHING there? I think I need to see the movie, again! Maybe even buy it and watch it every other day during this particular journey in my life.

I have added a few new fellas in my Yahoo Messenger. I hope I can keep up with them.

Ye of Little Faith

Edward rose from the dust. I reached out to him, stating that distance is not necessarily a good enough reason FOR ME, to say "sorry, won't work." And he responded that yes, friends is possible.

For heavens SAKES...my most significant relationship started long distance and I drove CLEAR across Wyoming in VW Bug - even in bad weather!! I don't like the way it ended, and it certainly has scarred me - was it worth it? Definitely.

Pinedale - the man has infuriated me. Truly. He teases me and yet he doesn't think I will actually show up on his door in Pinedale. He picked the WRONG GIRL to say that to. Despite not quite being shut down, I guess - I still think of leaving here on a Wednesday - or early Thursday morning and SURPRISE. See what SHOCK he has. See if he will need CPR. Jackass. Yes, Jackass. I may never meet him - and at times I can really say "HIS LOSS" though sometimes it hurts. Heck, maybe I will go to Lander for the night and then onto Pinedale.... time will tell. Not this weekend or next. Jackass Jackass Jackass. He is a man of little faith, too.

So I pick myself up, put on pretty clothes and my make up for the 3rd time. And go out and be "successful." Or attempt to be.

Truly though, I don't want to CARE this much about a relationship. It CANNOT run my whole life. Ye of Little Faith. Have faith that God has a plan and its better than MY plan....

Ye of Little Faith.

Hmmmm???

Okay, the following is just 1 of a few "emails" that I have gotten... Can someone kind of explain it to me? Does he want to get intimate before we are friends? OMG! And then some of the pictures... PLEASE! have some dignity! I do.

>>Hello,How are you ,What a nice ride on your profile ...Just a look at ur profile ,humm,Sound nice .I just have to pack and write a note;I want to have that chance to get to know u and see how we can get intimate for a serious friendship,if that is what you are here for.I really don't care about the age,race,look and distance difference.I'm here for the inner spaitial " ".Am inviting u to get in touch with me on contact data in here or personal once Like, ------@yahoo.com .My sleepover night is just to see your mail ...I will be most happiest person having you ...>>

Having me in WHAT WAY?

Good Bye KRM...

They are biting the dust like dead flies in the summer heat! I let KRM know last night that I couldn't continue to correspond with him because ultimately, initially there is NO SPARK. I didn't say it like that. Though it is what I meant.

And I got a response that I needed to delete my profile, pull my head out and what is sad as that I am the type of girl that plays games because I can. I think that sounds somewhat angry; though obviously a guy who doesn't know a damn thing about me, either. I play some games, as that is the nature of this.... however, I am not the type of girl THAT CAN play games nor do I like to.

Alas, next....

Learning about Leather

So Bob wants to teach me about Leather. As in Leather camisoles, garters, etc. Interesting. Why not? Life is about learning, no. (I can see you all sort of smirking, smiling, laughing....thinking OMG...Bob is clear across the USA from me) Learning About Leather....Why NOT?

Good Bye Earl...or Ed

Ed bit the dust; his choice. He couldn't figure out how a long-distance relationship would work. It hurt. Even if I hadn't had a long relationship with him.

Perhaps it hurt more becasuse I never thought of my location as being so far reaching, but it is. This town sucks when it comes to meeting people, connecting with them. It does seem that a lot of the people together, either met in College or there abouts - or grew up together.

And I can't just pick up and move, can I? for love. To perhaps meet someone? Must meet and then move? That is how I did it for - I'll call him Earl. So both Earl and Ed...Good Bye! (Thank You Dixie Chicks)

I've also done the red-neck scene. Not that Earl was the traditional red-neck...he wasn't. I just don't think I can go back to a specific ranching life. Specific as in THAT is how we make our living. I can be with someone that rides horses, goes on pack trips, etc. But not our livelihood.

I guess as long as I am saying Good-Byes, I might as well include CJA. To some, he was known as Sparks last summer. THANK GOODNESS nothing EVER happened (romantically) between us. Since last summer, his name has changed to "Cranky Jackass" or CJA. He is cranky. And he can be a real jackass. And being around him, or even talking to him, usually puts me in a bad mood. He is currently playing a martyr within his family. I want to live, I want to run, for as long as I possibly can. I don't want to be old before my time!

Just Difficult... You Got Mail!

Good Morning,

This is just difficult. And makes me think of the movie "You've Got Mail!" and how excited they felt when they had mail and how UNHAPPY they felt when they didn't.

Answers to some questions from friends - Mike is not an original cute guy; he isn't ugly (from his pictures), he just isn't the guy I was originally attracted to. He found me (which isn't a bad thing). And as said in earlier posting, he and I do not share some - what? It isn't that I think I have to agree with you and you have to agree with me, Mike's a red neck.

Pinedale is the OMG Handsome man that I really do like. I do hope I didn't mess up my opportunity to meet him and then on the other, if I did - then it wasn't meant to be and HIS loss. So I am thinking positively regarding Pinedale and myself.*

* I just read in Oprah: Find Comfort in Discomfort - Accept that you will never get rid of self-doubt. An adventurous person will always have moments of feeling like a fraud - its a sign that you're creating new roles for yourself, that you are evolving. It means you're doing great, passionate work.

Nothing in life WORTH HAVING is easy. Not to say that we have to purposely make it more difficult.

Which leads me to Ed. He told me I could call him Ed, Eddie or Edward. I'm trying Ed for now. He lives in Massachuesettes. I like his writing style and his sense of humor. He has a few pictures posted - and captions that are just funny. I do like the name Edward, though Ed or Eddie are more my style.

Another fella from Massachuesettes wants to train me in leather. I'm not sure exactly what THAT means yet, stay tuned!

RancherAlways (His online name is something like that) remembers seeing me at a concert here in town a few weeks ago. He lives in Montana; he even remembers what kind of beer I was drinking. Wow! See - You never can tell!

I think I'm meeting Newcastle this afternoon for an early dinner. Newcastle seems like a nice man, that's all I can really say about him at the moment.

I want Adventure! and of course LOVE! And Mail! or MALE!

You Never Can Tell!

You never can tell... I believe that is a Shakespeare play. I should know but I really can't remember, all I know is that I do refer to it, in my mind at times.

Anyways, just when I thought the stream was dried up...that the person who I was FAVORED with removed me; the person that was no longer on my internet dating site was gone - Well, Mike calls and Kelly is back online.

However, You Never Can Tell. I had a 30 minute conversation with Mike tonight. He opposes gays; that could be an issue. I accept them for who they are, and that they probably want love and companionship as I, who is heterosexual does. I believe in Gay Marriage in the Civil sense, not in a Biblical sense. I do. I would hate to be kept from my loved ones records and information and bedside, simply because of the fact that we are who we are.

Anyways, he is 1" taller than me (+); he has been around Wyoming but isn't FROM Wyoming (+); he asked me all these questions - kind of like I was on an interview (+/-) however I answered them as though I was talking to my bestest girlfriend. With honesty and laughter! (!+!) He told me that he would give our conversation some thought and get back to me; and of course I do the same. His one true (-) is that he's only been divorced for a little over a year.

As for Kelly, he might want to get on the ball...he could email me back. Alas, this is good. And my thighs, my sunburn, is healing.