I've had almost an identical conversation with 2 women in a week, at different times, brought about by different circumstances.
When did guys become girls? Are men really that afraid of our independence?
Arizona mentioned it last week, when she said that the guy she is dating, okay having sex with, asked her if he could call her or....text her? She told him, she doesn't talk on the phone, he can only text her. She also doesn't want a "relationship" with him, no emotional attachment. And as soon as he starts to become emotionally attached and more so, get her attached to him, she will kick him to the curb.
I said that men aren't conditioned (brought up) to "fall for someone" and then have to deal, handle, learn to cope with how to handle it when "they just aren't that 'into' you," though it's not about you.
Women have to learn that lesson early and usually over and over again.
However, once they do - LOOK out. Once 'the worm turns,' it aint pretty.
Furthermore, should it be pretty?
Why should a woman waste her life "waiting" for 'her guy' to grow up? And is she doing either one of them any favors, in waiting.
So then this morning at coffee, my other friend said that "yep, she'd had some physical gratification with Josh, but he had become inconsiderate and she wasn't going to put up with it."
She even went on to say that she was happy now, when her "ex's" had girlfriends because they became "someone else's problem." And "no, she didn't think the 3 of them should have dinner."
HUH? That used to be what a girl would do... "we should go have dinner sometime."
She went on to say that he had told her "I haven't been with anyone since you," and she tried to get out of the conversation without admitting anything. that used to be what guys did....
I told her how I had gone out on this date with Dig, nice man - good date - - but ....
Was it possibly that:
*he ran his hand through my hair on the 1st date? in a public resturant and I felt uncomfortable?
*Or that I could feel the "longing" within him for that connection that maybe wasn't there? Especially as he was determined to hold my hand?
* Or that not only did I get a text 1/2 hour after getting home from our date that said how wonderful of a time he had with me - and when I returned the thank you the next day, I couldnt' get him off the phone?
No... I don't think it was that.
** It may have been that the following day, I got an email "you're quiet" (huh?), then the following night,
** I got a call at 9pm. (baby, if you haven't called me by 7, don't. I'm either out or in bed, either way, not with you)
** the next night, a missed call....
and when I finally did talk to him, honestly, the upcoming week was so busy, and I felt he was so needy that my mind couldn't make time.
And so I told him basically the truth. I was too busy that week to see him.
It was the truth. I was busy. I had meetings and other obligations every night that week. And then I was going to leave early on Saturday morning to go to Texas to get my mom.
I say now "basically" the truth, because as my friend and I laughed this morning, "I'm busy this week" is usually the guys line when he really doesn't want to see you and he doesn't want to shut that door.
It was the truth. I was too busy.
So a week later, in a motel in Amarillo, TX with my mom, I listen to his message... "Hi... this is 'Dig' and I really enjoyed our date and would really like to see you again.....would you like that, too?"
Except for the fact that I don't do this, could I put my finger down my throat and throw up? He didn't have to say "all that," because I know the "date" he was talking about. No wonder guys have ran from us for years!
I also meditate now, that my life has basically been a whirlwind for the last 3 weeks, and to add this fella into my life, would have drove me nuts. And thus, if he'd been even in the competition of being "the one," I would have made time for him. At the same time, he wouldn't have driven me nuts.
But when did guys become girls? and girls became guys?
When did the roles reverse?
More so, how can we keep it this way?
Okay, maybe that's a joke. Because I don't want to be single all my life.
