Past Strike Out

I was visiting with an old friend yesterday, telling her exactly how I got on this dating journey.... a male friend suggested that I might be happier if I pursued a male friend ...a male relationship. Less lonely.

So I told my old friend - the 3 men I had dated (up to this summer basically) were: first guy was a socialpath, second guy had had a brain injury at an early age and in many ways was stuck at 23, the third guy - he is an alcoholic that really doesn't want a true relationship, he just wants to be with an old woman until she gets tired of his bullshit and he finds someone else. Basically (and I just realized this yesterday, after 3 years) he is a player.

Yep with those men in your history, WHY WHY would you venture out into the dating scene?

Certainly there are better people, better men out there - its just a matter of turning over enough rocks to find the frogs and hopefully they will turn into a Prince!

1st Time for Love, 2nd Time for Money

I always thought the saying "You marry the 1st time for love and the 2nd time for money" was because you didn't really get love in the 1st marriage so you might as well go for money the 2nd time around.

I now KNOW that it isn't the reason. You marry the 2nd time for money because you have NOTHING from the 1st marriage. You don't have love and you don't have money. And you can live without love from a "partner" (as long as you have love from family and friends), but you cannot live without money.

This ride of finding a mate, has been interesting, to say the least. I have met a few men that actually want a partner that can just "get up and go" whenever HE is. Get up and travel, vacation, etc.

I've recently started talking to Sailor. He's looking for the same things most of us are looking for in a mate: Mature yet fun, Nice yet naughty, Financially in Good Standing, Fun, Responsible, Fit, etc. He doesn't want to be someone's "sugar daddy." He, as many men in his age bracket, have been "left" to find a lot of women that have let their looks and body go to heck and are financially broke.

WE will be having a discussion on this matter. While I am not one of those women left with children to raise on my own, I didn't divorce with a lot of money. I didn't get a lot from putting in hard work and love into a 14 year marriage to a rancher. I've done all I can to stay fit, and its been a struggle. The last 6 years of my life, have been a struggle. I've done the best I can, as I suspect a lot of women have. And its a proven fact that women make less than men do in the conventional way of work.

So if we marry for money the 2nd time around, there is a reason. It isn't that we don't want love, it isn't that we want to be money-hungry....its just that we've been hungry for a long time, and in the end, love doesn't pay the bills.

We, too, would like love and money in the 2nd marriage. We'd like a responsible, mature, loving, fun, fit mate in our lives, as well.

Takes Time

Wow! Its been a month since I last posted. It isn't that things haven't happened (nope, I've had 2 dates with Lodge Grass; a date with Sundance, and a date with Red Lodge), its been maybe MY frame of mind.

Trying not to look back with regret. The saying of the season is "Only Look Back if It Makes You Happy."

Anyways, I just realized that even dating online, takes time. Not just because we are online and a distant away from each other - BUT because, and more so, because we are older, we have commitments.

Yes, I want to find someone; I want to share my life with someone.
At the same time, I can't just wait for someone to show up - I have to live my life.
And by living my life, that means that I make plans to go to Deadwood with friends; I help with something at the theater, I have a garage sale.

And so, it takes time.