You Can't Hurry Love....

No...you just have to wait! Love don't come easy, its a game of give and take.... How many heartaches must I stand?

It is autumn, a season of change. A season that we slow down. And its difficult sometimes.

A season of change. Change, even good change, can cause loneliness. The game of love can cause loneliness. As the leaves change color...going from greens to reds to oranges and yellows...crisps leaves falling down emptying our trees, fewer people walking about, things changing all the time for everyone, the loneliness sets in.

Love don't come easy...but I keep on waiting, anticipating....
I keep waiting, as the season waits to go dormant.

Yet you don't want to hurry love, you don't want to get into a relationship that is clearly not right because that can be worse. A hurried love can be draining and lonelier than being alone.

As difficult as it seems to be, sometimes I feel that my life pops things up at the times that I need them - such as taking my beloved Stella to the vet. Putting her and her needs first, which in turns puts someone else and their "needs" second, because I don't have the time...the energy....to give to them. Since I barely know them, why would they come first?

You can't hurry love, though you can love those you already have in your life. And love them all the time. Even through the changes. Through the changes of the seasons. Through their changes, through....

Through till you find more love.

New Shirt

I was just fishing in my closet for a new shirt to wear, something different than the past few months. Alas, I found a blouse that NOT only still has its tags on, but is actually in style. Wow.

So I hope, I wonder, I wish, I hope...that out there is a guy who maybe I've seen, yet haven't met; maybe I have seen and met, yet hasn't cracked the code; maybe I have seen and met, and is getting HIS life in gear....or maybe I haven't seen, haven't met and is waiting for me to turn the corner.

Alex bit the dust; I'd only met him once. Emailed, talked on the phone, texted a lot... met once. It wasn't my best date. He wasn't willing to compromise...come to his cabin or its over. Sadly, though relieved, its over. Relieved that he isn't a stalker. That would be difficult to put in the back of the closet.

Keep living life. Keep working your work. Be happy. Be sad. Be sweaty from a hard workout. Do different things, make new friends. And find the new shirt. Its there.

3 Date Rule

I've decided, frankly, that sometimes you can't really tell after 3 dates.

You can usually tell the 1st date if you like one another.
During the 2nd date you can usually tell if you want to go one more time,
however I'm at a quandry. The next date I go on, with Lodge Grass, will be date 4.

I'm certainly NOT ready to have sex with him.
Honestly, I'm not even sure how I really feel about him.

So the 3 Date Rule - well I'm throwing it out the door with Lodge Grass.

IN fact, I've been reading a book called "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man," and in it, the author says to make a guy "wait" 90 days to see what he is all about, before you have sex with him. Make sure you know where the relationship is going and just what HIS intentions are.

Frankly, I think if you like a guy - and it may not be STARS and BONFIRES at first - both of you ought to live by the 90 day rule.

I have been single, living on my own for 6 years. In that amount of time, it has become my girls and I. We are a family. And to bring someone into this space, it isn't the same as when I was in my 20s. It isn't the same as the first few years I was divorced - and I somewhat easily brought "them" in (and that makes me sound like more of a tramp than I was, I wasn't). Now... this is my home and I am responsible for what goes on in it. I am also responsible to Stella and Snuggles and I'm not risking their happiness....for a mans.

In 90 days, you'll know each other well enough...and if by then, there STILL isn't any STARS (atleast), then throw in the towel.